09 March 2009

Dart This!

Everyone has had a first car. That is, of course, unless you've never owned a car. For the sake of this post, let's assume that you have.

Some first cars are completely boring. If your first car was a new car, most likely it did not fulfill the requirements of the fabled 'first car.' What are the requirements of a first car, you ask? Well, I've made a list of what I think are a few guidelines in determining the quality of a first car.

1. First cars are completely dependable, though in cold weather they may have to be parked on a hill to start them.

2. First cars are perfect in any way. How the design of the dents seem to follow some Pythagorean algorithm, how the rust spots tend to look like deceased relatives, and how the rips in the seats are perfect for holding a wallet and/or cell phone: all perfect.

3. First cars, like most nice things and works of art, vary in color and texture, as numerous professional quality touch-ups run the length of the vehicle.

4. First cars are not only for transportation. They are havens and retreats for the afflicted, the oppressed, and the 17-year-old loser and his loser friends.

5. First cars are closely connected with first bands.


Though not possible, in some ways, I feel like I had two first cars. My first first car was a 1965 Dodge Dart that my dad and brother surprised me with when I was 14 (or 15?). It had some problems, but I still remember the night before my 16th birthday. My dad and I lay in pools of very-viscous fluid as we dropped the transmission, replaced the clutch, and fixed the brakes. We worked until at least 2 a.m. getting it ready to drive the next morning, and we even took it out that night just so I could get a feel for the three-on-the-tree shifting again. The trunk became the closet of my teenage life. It held guitar amps, french horns, and lots of other things so I would always be prepared. Eventually, though, we had to put it down. Brake problems. It was the perfect first car, and I am very thankful for it. Here are some pictures of cars that look exactly like my first car; regretfully, I don't have any of my own. It's name was Johnny 5.












My second first car, though not as classic or whimsical, was just as epic as my first, if not more so. It was a 1988 Lincoln Town Car. It truly was a luxury vehicle. It had air conditioning and a radio: both upgrades from my previous vehicle. It also had an automatic trunk, with a little electronic retractable latch that pulled it down tight, so I didn't have to put too much effort into closing it. It had leather seats, a glow-in-the-dark thermometer, and automatic headlights that switched between bright and dim based on ambient light. This car took over for my senior year in high school, and lasted all the way to the very end of my junior year of university (and I mean VERY end).

The night before our senior registration, four friends and I almost got arrested in this car. I've been pulled over in this car more times than most people have been pulled over in their life. Why? Stereotypes and vehicle profiling. I got this car at about 60,ooo, and got to take it past the 100,000 mile mark. This car was epic, I tell you. Oh, and that huge bump by the post office? 'Nuff said. Even its death was epic. On my way home for the summer after my junior year of college, with all of my belongings packed in and hanging off of the car, it broke down. But not just broke down. I mean, I was driving down the highway, about 30 minutes out of Fayetteville, and stuff started falling out from under it. Apparently, it had something to do with the transmission. Anyways, some very strange man and wife wrecker team came and picked me up in Alma, after I spent 4 hours laying hands on my car, anointing my car with holy oil, and eating Geno's Pizza-By-The-Slice, and took me home. Epic. It's name was Esmerelda.

Me & Esmerelda, breaking 100,000


Rollin' them zeros

What was your first car, and what was it like?

6 comments:

Connor Scogin said...

A 1988 Tan Volvo 240 DL. It was the bomb and it leaked power steering fluid, so I always had an extra bottle in the trunk. But when I ran out... well that is how I got the gigantic arms I have today.

Molly said...

A 1997 brown Chevy Blazer. Rosella, we called it. She was only mine in that I was allowed to drive it to high school and that I had three and a half accidents in that vehicle. The last one did her in and landed me in traffic court my senior year. (I would like to report that I have had a Much cleaner, accident-free driving record since then.)

Special features: Discman stuck to the dash with Velcro tape.

Ashley said...

I have very similar photographs of the wagon hitting 200,000 in 2007, except it's a little lighter outside and I'm flashing double victory V's/peace signs.

WYA! said...

1975 maroon Pontiac Grand Prix with white interior- man, I wish I still had that car today...

Nicholas May said...

I had a 97 Chevrolet Lumina: silver. My dad bought her when I was in 5th grade during an indoor soccer game. They were late getting to my game because my dad decided that he wanted to just go ahead and buy it then... we're both a little impulsive like that.

I dubbed her The Silver Bullet after she was handed to me. The car has been frustratingly reliable. My biggest incident that ever occurred in the bullet was the night of graduation my junior year. On the dark road of Beebe-Capps, right in front of the Sonic, a white Hummer side-swiped my twice destroying my side mirror and leaving tread marks along my door. To this day, there are wrinkles on the driver's door. I was quite proud of the car after this incident. But, due to an unattractive body style and a turning radius that's comparable to an aircraft carrier, I really didn't enjoy being seen in the car. It did have four wheels though and it did get me from place to place.

Mary Alice said...

1986 Ford Bronco... Eddie Bauer Edition. It was heaven on earth. I had to start it with a wrench for a while and after that I had to hook things up to the battery and push a button to start it. It also died in the most poetic way. On the most beautiful day... driving down my street... windows rolled down... first the radio went out... then the whole car stopped and we soared the last bit of the way home in silence and peace and pulled up in front of the house. I miss the Bronc. There were at least 134,762 memories that took place within it's walls.