Five Months Later: I started this in October

Molly's apartment looks great, doesn't it? Well, I've got some new digs of my own. After going through subsequent roommates and realizing I had enough money in my life to pay for only one more month of living in my beautiful old home on Lafayette St. (some of you have visited), I decided to get desperate. So I kind-of looked for another roommate while simultaneously breaking the lease agreement with my renting company in a rather pleasant way. Then, without really even kind-of looking, I found a roommate at G.F. Jordan's yard sale. He bought an mp3 player for three dollars, and was fresh from Israel. I told her she should have charged more for it. His name is Yaniv.

With the utmost composure, I frantically called my land-holding company and said something like, "Hey I know that I was desperate to get out of my lease but now I've found someone I've really finally found someone and he wants to live with me so can I go back on everything I've said in the last month," to which they responded, "We wish we could but we just signed with someone yesterday."

Knife in the back. And they made it sound so official, too: like it was a record deal or something. They offered me a condo uptown, but I decided to do my - and my new roommate's - shopping elsewhere. Enter the world of Penguin Ed.

Penguin Ed is Fayetteville's own Baron of Barbecue. He has three or four stores, including one around the block from one of his rental houses that I now call home. That's where I pay, and from stealthily glancing at all the other BBQ-sauce and grease-stained rental receipts, apparently he owns the whole street. It's like a molasses-infused Pottersville with vinegar- and mustard-based options, except much better: Welcome to Penguin Edford Falls.

I'll add some pictures soon.